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The rebirth of freedom
I wanted to be free my whole life but fears have always cut my wings. When I started to dare, to push myself against the wind of conformity and rules, it felt like falling from the edge.They say that the safety net will appear when you are leaping, but my mind was only reaching for the last hold.My body was screaming for help but nothing did appear, only my heart was growing wings. Am I giving in? Am I letting go of everything that is weighing me down? The sweet surrender of flying? I was falling further and further. There was no safety net, only the waves waiting to devour…
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The world needs an ocean of rebellious women and men
Ever since I was a young teenager I have been fascinated by existentialists. Their philosophy of freedom, that you are the creator of your own life, always comforted me when I had to go through tough times. The concept of having a choice to act against an unfree world and a sad existence was a light of hope for me. I didnât feel comfortable in my body as a young woman, I felt trapped and unfree because of taking on the ârole of a womanâ society and education puts on me. Everything within me rebelled against the âone is not born, but rather becomes, a woman.â I wanted to be…
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On the way
On the way What is behind the rain? A life like a movie? Where I can dive deep into a world I’ve never seen before? Where I can discover the magic of the ocean? Where will I go, when this life seems so far away? Who do I want to become? I’m on the way, even if I can’t see the horizon, even if I don’t know where to start. I’m already on my way, searching for silence, for moments of peace within. I know I have to go, even if I feel scared at times. I can’t wait any longer. I’ll catch the rain, every drop and let them…
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When I started to listen, I stepped into the healing journey of my life
Disconnection I went into a burnout episode recently. Although I thought that I had all the tools to prevent this, I was sad and depressed and didnât know what to do and why it has happened to me again. Why did I fall off the bandwagon and get into the mode of running through my life feeling disconnected from myself, feeling lost as if all the joy in my life has abandoned me? I was so disconnected from how I want to feel, from how I dream my life could be. I missed the feeling of aliveness, when you explore new things or go on little trips and adventures, the…
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Live a life without regrets
When I sat in the chair not knowing if life has a tomorrow for me, I watched the waves and cried tears of regret. With every tear that was running down my face a dream, a missed opportunity, all the things I hadnât done flowed down my cheeks. I felt responsible for things I wasnât responsible for. I was only responsible for my own life. I wasnât responsible for the happiness of my mother who had depression her whole life. I wasnât responsible for the things that happened to me in my childhood, but Iâm now responsible for my healing and living a life that is joyful and meaningful. I believe…
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Why do you want to follow your dreams?
Why do you want to achieve your dreams? And if you canât find an answer to this question at once, know that there is a reason, a deeper meaning why this dream comes up in your mind over and over again. If you can dream and visualize it, then this dream is for you. It is meant for you to pursue it. A fact I had to remind myself of multiple times: If you can dream it, you can do it. Sometimes you canât put the âWhyâ into proper words. Itâs more a feeling, an intuition that is calling you to go for it.When you canât find your âWhyâ ask…
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I start to choose anew
My body and mental health are showing me the signs: Iâm in burnout mode I feel exhausted, tired, depressed. I canât sleep in the night because I worry too much about my future. I donât want to get out of bed in the morning, things and activities that normally bring me joy leave me sad, everything seems to be grey although the spring season paints a colourful picture. I feel disconnected and I fear what the next days might bring: Iâm afraid of my job. Iâm afraid that I get ill again. Iâm afraid of losing my joy and the connection to my heart and soul. Iâm afraid of losing…
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What are you passionate about?
What you are passionate about can reveal so much more of who you really are than any education you went through, any job title or your past.We are used to put people into boxes because of their work, income, status or networks they are in. Asking someone what she or he is doing for a living only scratches the surface. Maybe they do this job because they canât see another way or itâs the least inconvenient option.Maybe they chose this work because it seemed to be a dream job once and now became a trap, a hamster wheel they chose over freedom, a choice out of fear.Maybe they have sold…
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Fears have stolen my voice
Iâm starring at the blank page, frozen and canât write a single word. Since the war began in the Ukraine all my words seem to be locked, imprisoned, in a state of fear. Fears have invaded my mind and heart and opened the chest of memories I thought I had buried a long time ago. I thought I had replaced these memories with a whole treasure trove full of hope, joy, connection, compassion, strength and freedom but now it seems to be hidden, protected with a powerful lock where the key is missing. Instead the ghosts of fears are all over the place. The fear of death, of losing loved ones and…
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Underwater World
She longed for a new world, a world of peace and silence. She longed for light in the dark, for a world of connection. She longed for a world full of adventures, for exploring her curiosity, for a world full of play and flow. She longed for a world full of abundance, for colours that paint her world of magic. She longed for a world of wonder, for possibilities, for making her dreams come true. She longed for a world full of stars, for places that fill her heart with love and joy. She longed for a world of trust and surrender, of surrender to the heart. She longed for…
