Ever since I was a young teenager I have been fascinated by existentialists.
Their philosophy of freedom, that you are the creator of your own life, always comforted me when I had to go through tough times.
The concept of having a choice to act against an unfree world and a sad existence was a light of hope for me.
I didn’t feel comfortable in my body as a young woman, I felt trapped and unfree because of taking on the ‘role of a woman’ society and education puts on me.
Everything within me rebelled against the “one is not born, but rather becomes, a woman.”
I wanted to be free like men seemed to be. I tried everything to fit into the ‘boy’s role’: playing soccer, getting into fights at school, the clothes I wore, making my own bows and arrows, refusing to play with ‘girl’s toys’…
The life for the women in my family was tough. I lived with my depressed mother who had to work hard to earn money for our living. My grandmother never seemed to rest, taking care of everyone, the household and farm, cooking, cleaning. She carried all the burden.
I had inherited the concept of working hard, playing by the rules, and accepting how everything is because there’s no way out, only because you are a woman.
So I started to ask myself: How can you get out of this and liberate yourself?
“The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion.”
― Albert Camus
When I got in contact with the philosophy of existentialism and read about the lives of Camus, Sartre and de Beauvoir I realized why I rebelled against these old concepts.
How can you be free when society judges you because of your gender, because of the job or income you have, because of the outer circumstances you were born in?
How can you feel free, seen, safe and understood when you can’t be who you truly are, express yourself authentically without fearing to be rejected and have a free choice to live a life that is in alignment with your values?
“Man is condemned to be free; because once thrown into the world, he is responsible for everything he does. It is up to you to give life a meaning.”
― Jean-Paul Sartre
My greatest value is freedom and freedom means to have the possibility to create a life that is in alignment with your heart. It means to have a choice, always, a choice to create, to let go of what doesn’t serve you anymore, to rebel against injustice and burdens, to make mistakes and to reinvent yourself, to break down the walls and build something new.
It’s up to you how you want to choose to see the world, what gives your life meaning, but freedom does not mean to impose your views and opinions on anyone else.
No one has the right to do that, not even if a court enacts such laws.
You are only responsible for your life, but you are also responsible for maintaining the possibility of choice for everyone.
“Freedom is the alone unoriginated birthright of man, and belongs to him by force of his humanity.”
You may ask why I write this, about little Sandra who didn’t want to be a girl, what all this has to do with freedom?
It’s because the Supreme Court in the US has decided to be the judge and authority over women’s body and health, to restrict women’s freedom and how they live life, to cut women off from the possibility of choice.
I had the choice to rebel against society’s rules, to feel more comfortable with my male best friends, with living and expressing myself in a more Yang/male version, but with this act of inhumanity and against equality I feel deeply connected to all the women who are now unfree and without choice. I feel for every woman whose life is made an object now, an act of demonizing and dehumanizing.
“I feel something troubling inside of me which scares me, an exhausting violence. But I accept the great adventure of being me.”
― Simone de Beauvoir
I know that many men are by our side, on the side of freedom and equality, of creating a life that is a rebellious act against an unfree world, of taking on the adventure to be truly yourself.
It’s time to unite and connect female and male principles, to create balance and real connection.
It’s time for me to let this young girl know that it’s safe to be a woman, that it’s safe to be who you truly are, that it’s safe to express all the feelings and thoughts, that it’s safe to live a life of freedom.
It’s safe to stand up for your values, to stand up against injustice and an unfree world.
The world needs an ocean of rebellious women and men who create waves of freedom.
The world needs you to live life like an ocean of love.
She is the ocean, powerful, connected and deep.
You are the ocean.