I wanted to be free my whole life but fears have always cut my wings.
When I started to dare, to push myself against the wind of conformity and rules, it felt like falling from the edge.
They say that the safety net will appear when you are leaping, but my mind was only reaching for the last hold.
My body was screaming for help but nothing did appear, only my heart was growing wings.
Am I giving in? Am I letting go of everything that is weighing me down? The sweet surrender of flying?
I was falling further and further. There was no safety net, only the waves waiting to devour me, getting me into their howling mouth.
When the water crashed over my body I was drawn into darkness, drifting into deep silence, carried by the wings of trust.
I didn’t know how long the ocean’s womb carried me, nurtured my soul and soothed my pain but I swam and after a time of healing my head broke through the surface into the light.
Everything was calm. Seagulls flew over the gentle waves, a sparkling horizon where the sun was rising over the ocean.
There was nothing to hold on to, only a blank, blue canvas.
I started to swim into the unknown, drawing new patterns onto the surface and I felt free for the first time in my life.