I start to choose anew

My body and mental health are showing me the signs: I’m in burnout mode

I feel exhausted, tired, depressed. I can’t sleep in the night because I worry too much about my future.

I don’t want to get out of bed in the morning, things and activities that normally bring me joy leave me sad, everything seems to be grey although the spring season paints a colourful picture.

I feel disconnected and I fear what the next days might bring:

I’m afraid of my job. I’m afraid that I get ill again. I’m afraid of losing my joy and the connection to my heart and soul. I’m afraid of losing my life.

I’m afraid of living a life that isn’t in alignment with my heart, a life where I can’t trust in my soul anymore and that the universe has my back.

I’m afraid that my life gets lost and buried in the meaningless, dark depths.

I know that I’m in burnout mode, when I want to quit, when I lose hope, when life looks like a place that I want to leave, when my heart is longing for freedom.

I know that I’m in burnout mode, when my heart urges me to choose a new way, to choose love over fear, to choose my dreams and soul’s calling over what others expect from me or which way they imagined I should go.

My heart urges me to choose freedom, connection and trust over the prison of conformism and playing by the rules, to choose living life like an ocean.

And so I start to choose anew, I choose the way of the heart, the way of the ocean.