The young girl and the sea

When did the ocean first connect with me?

I was a child that felt very lonely and lost, disconnected and not belonging, not to a family or
a group of friends, actually it felt as if I wasn’t wanted, like a burden.
I grew up with my mom who got divorced from my dad when I was 3 years old. My mom suffered from severe depression and there were always worries about how
to get enough money for our daily life.

I tended to dream myself out of my situation. I dreamed of adventures, of being brave, of exploring new places.
I loved books so much and especially those about bold adventurers, about pirates, about explorers of the sea.
I remember that I had a beautiful book that explained the earth and the oceans with wonderful illustrations, so many beautiful pictures and drawings from whales and dolphins, whole underwater worlds, colorful fish.
I loved to imagine myself exploring this marine world like Captain Nemo in ‚1000 miles under the sea‘.

We lived not far away from the North Sea and one day we got an invite to stay in a little
apartment in a small fisher village.
I was so happy that I could stay by the sea for a whole week.

I remember that I built sandcastles, that I watched the little crabs in the small tideways, the seagulls flying over the waves and was so fascinated about the tides.
When the flood got out, the sea offered me a whole new world to explore, so many seashells, little worms I could dig for and always these beautiful birds that were my loyal companions.

I wanted to be as free as them, to fly to the wide horizon, to be able to swim in the waves.
I wanted to go out with the fisher boats, to sail to the islands, to be at sea and never come back, because I knew that there the adventures are waiting for me.
I knew from this moment on that the sea has conquered my heart and that this love will last forever.
I knew that the ocean is my home, my lost connection.