{"id":272,"date":"2021-07-06T19:09:49","date_gmt":"2021-07-06T18:09:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/livelifelikeanocean.net\/?p=272"},"modified":"2021-07-06T19:16:18","modified_gmt":"2021-07-06T18:16:18","slug":"making-the-unbearable-bearable","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/livelifelikeanocean.net\/?p=272","title":{"rendered":"Making the unbearable bearable"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

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\"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n


<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One of my coping mechanism to deal with trauma is the need to make sense of situations, of experiences that have no sensible reason why they happened.<\/p>\n\n\n\n


What is the mental response to a traumatic event?<\/p>\n\n\n\n


For me it was and I still catch myself of doing it sometimes: Overthinking. I desperately tried to find a sense and meaning in these events.
When you do this from early childhood on, you might program your brain to think illogical thoughts, you create limiting believes for yourself.
I\u2019ll give you an example:<\/p>\n\n\n\n


When a child experienced disconnection and that emotional needs aren\u2019t met, the child can come to the conclusion that she or he is not lovable, unworthy, not enough and doesn\u2019t deserve connection and to feel seen and understood.
These false conclusions make \u201asense\u2018 in the eyes of the child and low self- esteem, a missing ability to connect with people, having trouble to trust and be confident in her\/his way is born.
The need to make sense of situations is the need to make the unbearable bearable:
\u201eWhy don\u2019t my parents love me?\u201c
\u201eBecause I\u2019m a bad person, have to many flaws, not good enough\u2026\u201c
\u201eWhat should I do to change that?\u201c
\u201eI do what I\u2019m told to do, I step back and try to not get attention, I try to be perfect, I try to be nice and don\u2019t think further about things I love and want to do\u2026\u201c<\/p>\n\n\n\n


A sense-making \u201athought and action spiral\u2018 is born and because of it, these children get a breadcrumb of connection, when they behave that way.
They live for these breadcrumbs, all this makes sense now to them, and they loose their identity to make it bearable, to feel loved just for a brief moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n


As an adult I find myself sometimes back to the need to make sense of everyone and everything.
It gives me an illusion of control because it makes it easier to grasp the uncertainty, the unknown, the things out of my control, the unbearable.
At least my mind makes me believe that, because it is conditioned to do so since early on.
Can you imagine how the ocean helps me to heal this?<\/p>\n\n\n\n


The ocean is an element where nothing is in your control.
The ocean simply is and embrace everyone with its salty waves.
There is no good, no bad, no sense, no overthinking.
There is only being in the element of your true self, in the connection to
your heart\u2019s love.
There is so much abundance, out of your control but always there for you
to grasp without the need to do something for it.
The ocean makes the unbearable bearable in a loving way.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

One of my coping mechanism to deal with trauma is the need to make sense of situations, of experiences that have no sensible reason why they happened. What is the mental response to a traumatic event? For me it was and I still catch myself of doing it sometimes: Overthinking. I desperately tried to find a sense and meaning in these events.When you do this from early childhood on, you might program your brain to think illogical thoughts, you create limiting believes for yourself.I\u2019ll give you an example: When a child experienced disconnection and that emotional needs aren\u2019t met, the child can come to the conclusion that she or he is not lovable, unworthy, not enough and doesn\u2019t deserve connection and to feel seen and understood.These false conclusions make \u201asense\u2018 in the eyes of the child and low self- esteem, a missing ability to connect with people, having trouble to trust and be confident in her\/his way is born.The need to make sense of situations is the need to make the unbearable bearable:\u201eWhy don\u2019t my parents love me?\u201c\u201eBecause I\u2019m a bad person, have to many flaws, not good enough\u2026\u201c\u201eWhat should I do to change that?\u201c\u201eI do what I\u2019m told to do, I step back and try to not get attention, I try to be perfect, I try to be nice and don\u2019t think further about things I love and want to do\u2026\u201c A sense-making \u201athought and action spiral\u2018 is born and because of it, these children get a breadcrumb of connection, when they behave that way.They live for these breadcrumbs, all this makes sense now to them, and they loose their identity to make it bearable, to feel loved just for a brief moment. As an adult I find myself sometimes back to the need to make sense of everyone and everything.It gives me an illusion of control because it makes it easier to grasp the uncertainty, the unknown, the things out of my control, the unbearable.At least my mind makes me believe that, because it is conditioned to do so since early on.Can you imagine how the ocean helps me to heal this? The ocean is an element where nothing is in your control.The ocean simply is and embrace everyone with its salty waves.There is no good, no bad, no sense, no overthinking.There is only being in the element of your true self, in the connection toyour heart\u2019s love.There is so much abundance, out of your control but always there for youto grasp without the need to do something for it.The ocean makes the unbearable bearable in a loving way.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,10,1],"tags":[27,41,21,40],"class_list":["post-272","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-ocean-inspiration","category-ocean-mindfulness","category-uncategorized","tag-healing-trauma","tag-healing-with-the-ocean","tag-inner-child-healing","tag-inner-work"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/livelifelikeanocean.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/272","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/livelifelikeanocean.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/livelifelikeanocean.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/livelifelikeanocean.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/livelifelikeanocean.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=272"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/livelifelikeanocean.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/272\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":277,"href":"https:\/\/livelifelikeanocean.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/272\/revisions\/277"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/livelifelikeanocean.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=272"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/livelifelikeanocean.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=272"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/livelifelikeanocean.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=272"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}